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I just want my most recent ex not to be one I regret. I have too many of those and it would be a big win for me not to cringe about how I let hormones justify dating a crazy person. Like wigs, really? Come on Brock.

 

Death to the Intelligentsia

1 min read

When you major in journalism your aren't taught more rigorous methods of research than your academic peers because you produce nothing of value as you report on the people who are actually doing things. All that you learn is how to better craft a narrative, how to remove context, inject agenda, and package it neatly with "content creation"; all the while claiming unassailable intellectual and moral superiority. And despite how transparently bereft the industry is of both we must all suffer the unholy union of Journalism and Academia- perpetuating an eternal feedback loop of soft science "experts" catering to journalist yes-men reinforcing the partisan predilections of hard science specialists. Their work can be interpreted properly by the experts and then processed again for breathless distribution by the yes-men; and so the cycle continues forever and ever ensnaring more and more academics by virtue of the self-referential nature of this intellectual incest and easily fooling the public who are reassured by the critical mass of collaboration that we reached long ago. This is the Journo-Academic Complex and this needs to die.

 

I always say you shouldn't put too much faith in dating advice from people who are single and yet some of the most emotionally vulnerable people I know keep looking out for me. I bailed on a big day with friends and immediately people reached out and asked what was wrong. I am both grateful and resentful that I can be read so easily. And I'm not sure a day did the trick. Might need a week or two.

 

This blog was supposed to be my journal but the fact that I can get deplatformed for politics or shamed for my religion does little to assure me that I should ever lift my voice again. I can't even hear myself think unless I drown out everything with videos or music. And by then the numbness replaces the desire to speak. This isn't a call for help this is just me standing over my own body taking notes.

 

Electrochromatic Glass, or Smart Glass, has been around forever and the fact that I can't pinpoint the exact date is driving me nuts. Anyways let's just stop pretending it's so novel and normalize it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smart_glass?wprov=sfla1

 

We should all be concerned with how comfortable the Justice system has become with the Court of Public Opinion. It's manned by kangaroos and there are no appeals.

 

We're all guilty of it at some point but "Correlation Doesn't Equal Causation" and all of its variants is one of those annoying smart sounding things dumb people say all time. It indicates you've been on the internet for the same amount of time as a boomer but not long enough to know how cringe the meme has become.

 

An acknowledgment of inadequacy

2 min read

Do you ever just realize you are responsible for all of the suffering not only in your own life but in those around you? I know it's melodramatic. I know it reeks of illusions of grandeur if not textbook narcissism but I just can't help but reflect on the human carnage that I alone am responsible for. Tonight, I didn't have the good sense to stay out of three separate occasions of interpersonal conflict. While there were overlapping individuals and groups I remained the constant. I spend so much time vilifying my own friends and their motivations. I dance between their sole companion and The Devil's Advocate far too naturally far too swiftly. And what has it done for me? What has it done for anyone?  I think I am the monster in this story and there are no heroes because that was the role I had arrogantly assigned myself. All there is- is casualties.

 

Why do I do this? Why can't I be the quiet one that everybody likes? I honestly can't comprehend the confidence it probably takes to simply be a good friend. I feel inadequate, incapable of being the quality person that these people deserve. Maybe I never deserved these friends in the first place. I do worse than project my own shortcomings onto others, I corrupt everything around me. I am the common denominator And with that knowledge comes the responsibility to do better.  To be better. And I guess that's what I've been seeking in my friends. I learn well by example so I surround myself with better people and somewhere in the process of  minimal validation I convince myself that I can help them; When I need their help. 

 

Sometimes I just add people on FB because I want to see how far I can go. So far I've added major editors and writers for conservative and Libertarian publications. Am I networking right?

 

Unforgotten, unforgiven

Unforgotten, unforgiven

Any friend of mine willing to advocate for religious repercussions (read: excommunication) for people they've never met IRL over political differences is neither a friend of mine nor someone I can trust. It's been almost three years and nothing has changed Peter. We are still strangers. Never speak to me again. I will delete every comment because I know you have not changed. And neither has my resolve.